The saddest fucking thing in the world is getting super close to someone, and having a falling out where you don’t speak anymore. Even if you’re at that point where you both completely hate eachother guys, you both said some things that you can never take back, or did things out of spite. It’s just sad because you know at one point you were so close you could tell each other anything, and now when they hear your name they shudder at the thought of seeing you again. Of course there are times where I’ll think about how much I dislike this person and what they did/said about me that hurt. But then when you look through old conversations and old pictures is just flat out depressing, because you can physically see how close you were to that person and how much they meant to you at one point.
Florida is very nice, obviously. It is and always will be. But I’m starting to have regrets, to be completely honest. I miss my family more than I ever have. A day hasn’t passed where I haven’t cried. I miss my boyfriend a lot as well. I miss my cat soo much. My friends- obviously. It’s just very different. And yes the beach is amazing, the ocean is beautiful as ever. But i can feel it getting old eventually. Idk maybe it’s just me but this isn’t how I pictured it to be honest. Maybe it wasn’t my time yet. I’m down here with a career I can’t even take off without going back to school.. (Besides I fucking hate it) the schools are A LOT more than where I was too. I could go on forever but I don’t want to seem like a complete failure. I know I’m meant to be here some day but I think I was pushing it too fast. I’m
I’m here. This is officially my first full day in the sunshine state. It’s had absolutely been the most heart wrenching times of my life. I’ve never been so sad… But waking up to sun shining on my face and palm trees waving is just absolutely breath taking. I love the faint smell of the ocean because we are so close to the beach. I can’t wait to get to know the area better so I can start running..
But on the other half of this deep down I’m still very very sad. I miss everyone. E.v.e.r.y.o.n.e. There honestly isn’t a person I’ve thought about. Obviously the people I miss the most is my family & Kyle. But I need to take this one step at a time right? I need to figure things out and really find myself… But as of now I’m going to take things incredibly slow.